What “being social” can look like

“There are snakes that go months without eating. When they finally catch something, they’re so blinded by their hunger that they suffocate when they’re eating.”

Before the pandemic, “being social” seemed to have one definition: meeting up, physically, with others and doing some sort of activity — whether it was lunch, a class, an experience or sport.

Most of these activities that we declared as ‘social’ demanded a lot from us — they required us to give our physical selves, commute to a destination, get ready for that particular outing, and then, naturally, feel quite tired when the outing is over.

Socializing seemed, at that time, quite binary. It was either a Saturday out, or a night in.

Pre-pandemic, it felt like there was a lot of pressure to be that social person. To have plans every weekend, and fill up every daypart.

Now, coming out of the pandemic, I think we have a broader perspective of what being social and socializing truly looks like. It’s not binary anymore — we don’t have to equate being social, or having connection, with having elaborate plans or fancy activities (that usually also require a lot of time, effort, money or energy).

Although we’ve been cut off from many of the things and activities we enjoy in the pandemic, it’s made me realize (and appreciate) how easy it is to find connection in the simplest of ways.

Of course, meeting up with friends for restaurants, activities and outings is always going to be social. Those activities are always quite social. But, being social can also look like…

• Going for a walk at the same time as a friend — and having a call on your walk. Catching up and telling each other what you’re seeing in your surroundings.
• Facetiming a friend while you have dinner or lunch at home
• Getting comfortable at home and catching up on your texts or social media
• Going to a viewpoint in a city with a friend and simply taking in the people, water, city views or square.
• Helping a friend with an errand (or asking them to help you).
• Sending some photos of a recent experience to a friend where you thought of them
• Writing cards to give someone on their birthday (or special occasion)
• Getting a coffee at a local place with a friend
• Making one extra portion of dinner and inviting your friend, housemate, family member or neighbour
• Going to a place of worship to feel part of a community
• Going to a public place, like a cafe, just to feel the energy of others

Why is this distinction important? Because it honours rest and it honours your calm. If you know you want to be social on Friday, it might just mean you’re looking for a connection. Your options aren’t simply to have a wild night or stay at home. Instead, call that friend or offer to go for a coffee instead. Socializing can look like a number of different things. In that, we relieve ourselves from the pressure of overbooking our calendars, overexerting and pushing too far.

Instead of letting our calendars and social commitments dictate our pace of life, we give ourselves the opportunity to just connect. We give ourselves space and then it becomes a joy, not an effort, to fill that space (and find our calm).

What does being social look like to you?

Hustle & Calm

P.S. First H&C article? Read about what Hustle & Calm is all about here.